Man.  Wednesday was a strange ol’ day.  The boy and I done some Adventuring in the morning.  That involves going for a walk wherever he wants to go.  Like his daddy, he’s taken to trains.  So we tend to go to the station that’s just a couple of minutes from our home and wait for the trains to roll in.  Some days we hop on board.  No major journeying, just a few stops.  We get off.  Walk a bit and look at the scenery and then hop aboard the next train and we’re homeward bound.

The last couple of weeks he’s been pointing towards this little cafe that’s on the corner.  Y’see, my wife took him there for a wee treat a month or so ago and he’s been keen for me to go.  What he didn’t know was that my wife and I decided that this Wednesday was the day.  So, we headed home (after a stop to pick up some oranges) for a brief stop and back out we went with Mummy (telling him what was planned).  He practically raced around.  Looking at him sitting at the table he was chuffed to show me this place he’d found.  He pointed at the menu – gesturing at me to pick it up.

And he wasn’t wrong.  It was a neat place.  Crucially, the coffee was damn fine.


Anyhoo, as he was napping I checked into the world of the internet and learned via My Jerusalem’s Facebook that Dave Rosser had died.  He was 50.  I was in shock.  Gutted.

Y’see, Dave Rosser, for those who don’t know, has been an integral part of Greg Dulli’s musical shenanigans over the last ten years or so (Dulli refers to him as family).  As such, he’s been heavily involved in some of my favourite music in that time – The Twilight Singers, The Gutter Twins, The Afghan Whigs 2.0 and My Jerusalem.

It was announced late last year that he was battling inoperable colon cancer, but it didn’t feel like it was the end of the road.  Even though he wasn’t out on tour with the band, he was telling Guitar World just last month that he was feeling pretty good.

“I just finished the first six months of chemo and am taking a break. I’m feeling pretty good and my spirits are good. I record a lot at the house and have been making a lot of music with friends. I’m staying busy and have purpose. I’ll try to get out and meet the band on a few stops in Europe where they’ll be for a few days.”

I really became aware of him via Dulli’s Twilight Singers and his contribution to The Gutter Twins’ Saturnalia.  He also accompanied Dulli and Lanegan for a round of ‘An Evening With’ gigs and during a Lanegan solo tour.  As well as that, he played on albums by The Gutter Twins, My Jerusalem, Mark Lanegan, Jeff Klien and Joseph Arthur.  I caught him live a few times with each of those projects and I met him very briefly after The Gutter Twins played Glasgow’s Oran Mor and he seemed like a nice guy.  By all accounts, those who had been in his company for any amount of time confirmed that he was humble, funny and a gentleman.  The fans had a lot of love for him.

My wife held me when I relayed the news cause she knew I was a bit upset about it.  Later, when the kiddo was asleep I had a chance to think about it some more.


Anyway, although I didn’t know him, his passing hurt.  It might be timing, I dunno.  It was enough for me to need a hug.  Enough for me to send love to a group of Whigs / Dulli fans who I knew would be reeling.  Enough to remind me that life – or death – can be a fucker and has no mercy or sentiment.  Enough to remind me to cherish those around me and to tell them as often as I can that I love them (even at the risk of sounding like a broken record).

What am I rambling about?  Well, it was a great Wednesday despite it being tinged with sadness.  It brought up a whole lot of thinking.  About a whole lot of things.  I love this family of mine and I appreciated the Wednesday Adventuring with my boy.  I hold him and I tell him I love him and that I’m proud of him.  Of the little man he is. In a few months I’m gonna hold my daughter and I’ll tell her that I love her too.

Anyhoo, the positives are that I’m aware of my mortality and the often unforgiving nature of life (death).  I’m gonna continue Adventuring with my family (even if it’s raining) and holding them tight.

I’m gonna do my best to tell the folks around me that they’re important to me.  That includes the folks who drop by here and chat about the music, records or whatever.  Thank you.

Also, let’s not forget that Dave Rosser rocked and he will continue to rock.  The Universe will take good care of him.

 

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29 thoughts on “Love

  1. Great post! Your right we have no control on Father Tine so make every moment count!
    Those journeys with your son will be great reminders when he gets older…
    Great parenting by both yourself and Mrs J!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Deke – we’re doing our best for him, y’know? I can’t wait to get home from work so I can lift him up and ask how his day’s been. He’s turning into a wee dude that loves music and trains, which obviously makes me smile like the Cheshire Cat.

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  2. As I’m a sucker for most of the themes in this post, J, I appreciated it very much…
    Your love for your son (and daughter-to-be), your partner; simple pleasure; watching them grow; not pretending that life is fair or endless (it is neither); music that touches us.

    Coming off the back of the last thing (also the first new thing) posted at Lonely Keyboards, I particularly identified with this one. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dynamite Steps is pretty wonderful. His stuff on the two recent Whigs album is stellar too (Arabian Heights being a highlight). But yeah, he’s definitely a man who seems to have reached many and that life is worth celebrating.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wonderful post J.
    Sorry to hear about Rosser, even though we don’t personally know musicians, they definitely have a lasting impact on us.
    There’s a train museum too in Glasgow, yes?
    The young man’s got fine taste, I’ve got Jim Dead & The Doubters’ ‘Trains’ in my head as I type!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cheers, Geoff – musicians can have a very unique impact and place in our lives, huh? From guiding us through growing pains or comforting us through broken relationships to repairing our sense of self. Life affirming and live saving. The hurt can be deep, without making a great deal of sense to those around us.

      We have a transport museum with some wonderful trains, but there is a dedicated railway museum in Bo’ness!

      And yes, I’m pleased he appears to be digging the things his daddy does.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think he (or anyone) would be pleased to leave a legacy that reminds people of that most important thing.
    Love hearing about your little family adventures. It’s so sweet to stop the clock and give a kiddo a most prized memory. Hopping trains with dad? What kid wouldn’t love that?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Jay. Those days are the best and I never plan anything For Wednesdays or the weekends, as that’s our time as a family. His joy and wonderment can really fill a day quickly!

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  5. Awwh, so sorry to hear about Dave Rosser. I’m not all familiar with Dulli and his many musical endeavors, but I’ve admired him from afar. It’s so sad when someone goes so early, and 50 years old is way too early.

    It sounds like you and your partner are doing things right with the little one. Adventuring, trains, cafes, and damn fine coffee are how great humans are made. He’s lucky to have you as a dad, and your daughter on the way will be as well. Adventuring as a trio is great, but as a quartet is even better.

    Hang in there Jim.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, JH – appreciated.

      We’re trying to do right by him, y’know? If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s not to take anything for granted. I’m gonna enjoy every moment and pass what I can on to these tiny humans while I can.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Awesome post, J. I love the Adventuring. Always a helluva time when the wee one steers the way!

    We used to do something similar in Montreal, just hop on the metro, ride out to some station new to us, hop off and walk arond a while. Great way to get to know places.

    Also, RIP Dave Rosser. I really think you nailed it here:

    “Anyway, although I didn’t know him, his passing hurt. It might be timing, I dunno. It was enough for me to need a hug. Enough for me to send love to a group of Whigs / Dulli fans who I knew would be reeling. Enough to remind me that life – or death – can be a fucker and has no mercy or sentiment. Enough to remind me to cherish those around me and to tell them as often as I can that I love them (even at the risk of sounding like a broken record).”

    Hope you’re alright, buddy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a bunch, Aaron.

      Nothing beats Adventuring, huh? It’s amazing to going in with the wonderment, especially because there’s always something new or whatever out there.

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      1. Oh absolutely, and it’s a blast with kids taking the lead. It’s especially enjoyable at your young man’s age, but our two (8 and 5 years old) definitely still get into it. Only difference for us is we have to drive new places – we don’t have any trains!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nope, not a one around here. There were trains when we were kids in the 70s and 80s, used to go through my hometown. The track path that went past our old house here in this town is now just that – a hiking/walking/biking/snowmobile/skiing path. But a lot of that got stopped at some point in favour of shipping everything by lorry, which wrecks the roads. Anyway, there are still trains, on the main routes across the country and such, but a lot of the smalltown local stuff is long gone.

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